Sponsorship
Who is a Sponsor?
Sponsors are men and women who have worked the CoDA 12 Step Program and thereby are available to mentor a sponsee with working the program through the 12 Steps and the 12 Traditions. A sponsor is not a banker, savior, caretaker, or lover.
Who is a Sponsee?
A sponsee is someone who has been active with their personal recovery and seeking a positive relationship in a safe and supporting environment focused on working the 12 Steps and the 12 Traditions. Sponsees may or may not be new to the CoDA Program. The nature of the sponsee-sponsor relationship is created by the mutual consent of both.
Who are Sponsors?
Sponsors are people within the CoDA program who help guide us through the Twelve Step recovery process. These people are recovering codependents whose personal recovery is their first priority.
Sponsors continue to learn how to live happy and fulfilling lives and are willing to share their experience, strength and hope with us. They’ve usually walked the road of recovery longer than we have.
Sponsors are who we call for help when we’re confused or overwhelmed. They can also be friends who work the program with us. Sponsors are able to remain objective and detached from feeling responsible for our happiness and recovery.
Sponsors also refrain from behaving in abusive, critical, or controlling ways that can result in fixing, rescuing, acting as a therapist, sexual manipulation, or personal gain. Sponsors are role models for recovery, sources of loving support, and respectful of our anonymity and individual pace in working the program.
Sponsor Goals
- To share with others how I worked my 12 Step Program.
- To share what I was like then and what I am like now.
- To share as a Twelve Step Guide, not as a friend or Higher Power.
- To share in “I” statements but live in “we” actions.
- To share tools I have added to my tool box and how I use these tools today.
- To practice healthy boundaries and be respectful of the Sponsee’s reality.
Sponsee’s Goals
Accept that the Sponsor has high expectations of them as Sponsees. Some of the Sponsor’s expectations are:
- Sponsee will be open to new ideas.
- Sponsee will share their new tools with others.
- Sponsee will do the work.
- Sponsee will call every day at agreed upon time.
- Sponsee will share only for 15 minutes each day.
- Sponsee will practice “H O W” – Honesty, Open-mindedness, and Willingness.
- Sponsee will leave the “Well But” and “Only If” excuses behind.
- Sponsee will be respectful of their and the Sponsor’s time and space.
- Sponsee will work no more than 30 minutes a day on the answer.
- Sponsee will allow the healing process to go as deeply as possible in the time allowed.
- Sponsee will trust the process knowing that if more healing work needs to be done on any particular issue, it will come up again.